On Losing Someone or Something We Love
We all lose someone or something we love. It happens many times over our lifetime. The loss can be due to death, estrangement, or separation by distance. We can lose a person, a pet, a job, a home or a place.
We humans are unique in that we can intellectually work through a traumatic loss. We understand how it impacts us and generally why we react the way we do. We’re aware of the emotions that come up as part of the grieving, but, often, we push those emotions aside so that we can continue to function at our jobs and within our families. We think that we have “gotten over it” because we are no longer feeling the pain of the loss.
But, do we really get over this traumatic loss? In the United States in particular, we are encouraged to “get on with our lives.” Our conditioning by peers and society to behave a certain way has done a number on how we approach grieving. For example, men don’t cry and women continue to support and care for the rest of the family - she has no time to mourn. We are not taught, nor do we have good role models of how to grieve.
What happens when we ignore our emotions; when we think we have dealt with the loss? By pushing the emotions of pain, regret, loneliness, grief, sadness, depression, fear, etc. aside, we end up pushing all our other emotions away too. We eventually cannot experience the positive emotions of joy and happiness. Our emotional switch has been turned off.
How does this affect us? We lose out on experiencing life. We need to feel all our emotions – the positive and the negative. We are here on earth in a human body and emotions are part of our human experience. Although it is uncomfortable, even painful, to express and even just to feel our emotions, we need to honor them as an important part of our life.
I spent most of my life pushing my emotions aside because I wanted to appear “in control” to everyone. I must have been born with an ancestral belief that I was a warrior, and to succeed, I needed to be stoic. As a child, my siblings always called me “the calm one.” I could handle stressful things easily. I was the rock for everyone else. When I was in my late 20's, my mother was dying and my dad had lost everything financially. Friends would ask how I was and I would always respond with, “I’m fine!” I truly believed then that I was not impacted by the stress of my life’s experiences.
After many years of self-examination and healing, I now see that I missed out on a lot of life. How nice it would have been to pour my heart out to close friends and family and receive love and support back!
An important aspect of my healing was Shamanism. Shamanic healing helped me to find and heal that “Limiting Belief” that I was a warrior and that I should always be in control. I developed a new healthy belief that I was a “compassionate warrior.” I could still be strong, but I was also compassionate with myself and others – tears of sadness or joy are okay! I also received many soul retrievals. When we experience a trauma, such as the death of a loved one, we actually lose a part of our soul. The traumatic event, with the associated emotions, is too painful to bear in our physical body, so a soul piece will leave us and find a safe place to hide. Through Shamanic healing, the soul pieces are located, healed and returned, bringing back your own power along with healing wisdom around that traumatic event. Having the soul pieces back with you encourages you to feel all those emotions that you had previously ignored. It is easier to allow the sorrow, regrets and grief to come up and flow through you with the support of your soul pieces. And only by allowing the emotions to flow, will you arrive at a point where you can accept and heal from the loss you experienced.
Shamanism is all about returning balance and harmony to our physical, emotional and spiritual selves. Over time, the acceptance of what happened will gradually reduce the strength of those painful emotions. You will find that you can deal with both the positive emotions as well as the negative ones from a place of strength and compassion.
Are you still dealing (or not dealing) with a traumatic loss? Are you ready to heal so you can live a fully balanced life? Do you want to reclaim your own power and not live your life how others think you should? Would you like to look back on a loss without emotionally falling apart?
Working together with me over time, we will retrieve and heal missing soul pieces and explore where you may have other blocks to healing from that loss or losses. You’ll also learn tools to help you to stand in your power when you are triggered by a painful memory. Shamanic healing requires the active participation of the client in their own healing. You must be ready and willing to transform your life!
By exploring what you want to achieve, together we can decide if we are a good fit to work with each other. Contact me today and we can set up a 20-minute free Breakthrough Session.